1 00:00:15,493 --> 00:00:17,321 THE TOWER. 2 00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:28,376 IS THAT A DILDO? 3 00:00:36,253 --> 00:00:39,691 - Man: CAN YOU FEEL THAT? 4 00:00:42,651 --> 00:00:47,177 YOU BETTER HOLD ON. THIS ONE'S ABOUT TO GET BUMPY. 5 00:00:47,221 --> 00:00:49,875 ♪ GIVE ME A HELL, GIVE ME A YEAH ♪ 6 00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:51,094 ♪ HELL YEAH 7 00:00:51,138 --> 00:00:53,183 ♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW 8 00:00:53,227 --> 00:00:56,839 ♪ GIVE ME A HELL, GIVE ME A YEAH ♪ 9 00:00:56,882 --> 00:00:59,102 ♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW, RIGHT NOW ♪ 10 00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:02,366 ♪ GIVE ME A HELL, GIVE ME A YEAH ♪ 11 00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:04,064 ♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW. 12 00:01:08,851 --> 00:01:12,811 Radon: WHY? 'CAUSE ONE BOWL A DAY IS NOT GONNA KILL YOU. 13 00:01:12,855 --> 00:01:15,162 HEY. THAT WAS PATHETIC. 14 00:01:15,205 --> 00:01:17,164 WHAT DO YOU GUYS CALL THAT SHIT OUT THERE, HUH? 15 00:01:17,207 --> 00:01:21,168 - UH, WINNING? - NO, THAT'S NOT WINNING. THAT'S HANGING ON BY A PUBE. 16 00:01:21,211 --> 00:01:22,473 HE'S SUCH A WORDSMITH. 17 00:01:22,517 --> 00:01:25,215 LUCKY FOR US, WE HAVE A BYE WEEK COMING UP. 18 00:01:25,259 --> 00:01:28,653 NOW I SUGGEST YOU ALL REFLECT A LITTLE BIT, 19 00:01:28,697 --> 00:01:32,179 THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU NEED TO DO TO BECOME A BETTER FOOTBALL PLAYER. 20 00:01:32,222 --> 00:01:34,442 THAD, IN MY OFFICE NOW! 21 00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:39,011 - UH-OH. - I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S FINALLY HERE. 22 00:01:39,055 --> 00:01:41,666 - THE BYE WEEK PARTY. - WE HAVE A PARTY EVERY WEEK. 23 00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:45,496 NO NO NO, NOT LIKE THIS. NO, THE BYE WEEK PARTY GOES ON FOR DAYS. 24 00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:48,064 YEAH, I MEAN, ASIDE FROM MARDI GRAS, 25 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,240 HOMECOMING, MARATHON MONDAY, 26 00:01:50,284 --> 00:01:53,591 HALLOWEEN, NEW YEARS, ST. PATTY'S DAY AND SPRING BREAK, 27 00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:56,072 IT'S THE ONLY THING I HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO ANYMORE. 28 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,769 WHERE THE HELL WAS YOUR HEAD TODAY? 29 00:01:57,813 --> 00:01:59,902 YOU MISSED CALLS. YOU MISSED TACKLES. 30 00:01:59,945 --> 00:02:01,686 YOU ALMOST BLEW THE GAME FOR US. 31 00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:04,124 - I GOT A LOT ON MY MIND, COACH. - LIKE WHAT? 32 00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:10,478 I'M THINKING ABOUT LEAVING B.M.S. A YEAR EARLY TO GO PRO. 33 00:02:10,521 --> 00:02:14,482 OH. WELL, THAT'S A TOUGH CHOICE-- 34 00:02:14,525 --> 00:02:17,180 TO STAY WITH THE PEOPLE WHO GROOMED AND NURTURED YOU, 35 00:02:17,224 --> 00:02:20,662 OR TO ABANDON THEM FOR A BUNCH OF SUPERFICIAL MONEY. 36 00:02:20,705 --> 00:02:22,707 I WANNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 37 00:02:27,669 --> 00:02:29,801 I LIKE TO KEEP THIS CLOSE TO ME ALL THE TIME. 38 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,503 THAT'S THE DAY YOU NAMED ME CAPTAIN. 39 00:02:35,546 --> 00:02:38,288 IT'S KIND OF EMBARRASSING, 40 00:02:38,332 --> 00:02:41,422 BUT I'VE ALWAYS HAD THIS CRAZY NOTION 41 00:02:41,465 --> 00:02:45,121 THAT BECAUSE YOU LOST YOUR DAD 42 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:48,777 AND MY SON IS A GRADE-A SHITBIRD-- 43 00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:50,953 WELL, I ALWAYS THOUGHT OF YOU 44 00:02:50,996 --> 00:02:54,174 AS THE SON I WISH I HAD. 45 00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:57,177 NOW I DON'T WANT THAT TO INFLUENCE YOUR DECISION AT ALL. 46 00:02:58,613 --> 00:03:00,615 IT WON'T, DAD. 47 00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:05,272 PLEASE DON'T CALL ME DAD. 48 00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:18,067 OOH-OOH! BYE WEEK PARTY! 49 00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:20,112 RADON'S IN THE HOUSE! 50 00:03:20,156 --> 00:03:23,246 I SAID, "OOH-OOH!" 51 00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:25,640 Thad: I CANCELLED THE BYE WEEK PARTY. 52 00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:28,860 - WAIT, WHAT? YOU DID WHAT? 53 00:03:28,904 --> 00:03:30,993 I NEED TIME TO REFLECT ON MY FUTURE-- 54 00:03:31,036 --> 00:03:34,997 WHETHER OR NOT TO STAY HERE ANOTHER YEAR AT B.M.S. OR GO PRO? 55 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,304 DUDE, THAT'S AN EASY DECISION, MAN. 56 00:03:37,347 --> 00:03:40,481 GO PRO. MAKE THAT DOUGH. NOW WHERE ARE THE GIRLS? 57 00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:43,484 AGREED. GO. WHY DON'T YOU GO PRO? 58 00:03:43,527 --> 00:03:45,616 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. 59 00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:48,271 - JUST GET OUT OF HERE. - WHY WOULD YOU CANCEL THE BYE WEEK PARTY? 60 00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:49,577 Sammy: YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW MY NAME. 61 00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:52,667 Harmon: VISION QUEST! 62 00:03:52,710 --> 00:03:56,671 YOU NEED TO GO ON AN APACHE VISION QUEST. 63 00:03:56,714 --> 00:03:59,151 IT'S A JOURNEY INTO THE INNER MIND, 64 00:03:59,195 --> 00:04:01,284 A SPIRITUAL AWAKENING. 65 00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:04,200 IT'S HOW I FIGURED OUT WHICH SCHOOL TO GO TO. 66 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,202 I WENT INTO THE WOODS AND FIVE DAYS LATER 67 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:09,292 A LITTLE SPIDER WITH THE FACE OF JEFF GOLDBLUM SAID, 68 00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:11,294 "GO TO B.M.S." 69 00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:13,514 IT'S A SACRED TRADITION. 70 00:04:13,557 --> 00:04:16,778 HELL, EVEN JESUS WENT ON A VISION QUEST-- 71 00:04:16,821 --> 00:04:18,214 40 DAYS IN THE DESERT. 72 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:21,652 - I DON'T HAVE 40 DAYS. - OF COURSE YOU DON'T. 73 00:04:21,696 --> 00:04:24,351 THAT'S WHAT DRUGS ARE FOR. SOMEBODY GET MY SUITCASE. 74 00:04:28,964 --> 00:04:31,488 ALL RIGHT, NUMBER ONE, MUSHROOMS-- 75 00:04:31,532 --> 00:04:33,403 THOSE'LL OPEN THE DOOR PART WAY. 76 00:04:33,447 --> 00:04:36,014 NUMBER TWO, BLACK MATILDA, 77 00:04:36,058 --> 00:04:38,147 OTHERWISE KNOWN AS PEYOTE. 78 00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:42,064 A LITTLE BIT OF THAT AND THAT DOOR WILL SWING WIDE OPEN FOR YOU. 79 00:04:42,107 --> 00:04:44,806 AND THEN... 80 00:04:44,849 --> 00:04:47,374 AYAHUASCA, 81 00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:51,334 A SPECIAL BLEND OF SHRUBS FROM THE VENEZUELAN JUNGLE. 82 00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:53,728 THIS SHIT WON'T JUST OPEN THE DOOR. 83 00:04:53,771 --> 00:04:56,208 IT'LL BLOW THE GODDAMN HINGES OFF. 84 00:04:58,994 --> 00:05:00,648 I ALSO HAD SOME D.M.T. IN HERE, 85 00:05:00,691 --> 00:05:03,172 BUT I MAY HAVE DONE THAT ON THE WEEKEND. 86 00:05:03,215 --> 00:05:06,697 NOW WE CAN JUST MIX UP SOME TURPENTINE-- 87 00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:10,310 WHAT DID YOU JUST DO? 88 00:05:10,353 --> 00:05:12,268 WHAT? 89 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,270 THAT WAS ENOUGH DRUGS 90 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,490 TO LAST ALL OF US THE REST OF THE WEEK. 91 00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:18,274 I GOT A LOT TO THINK ABOUT. 92 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:21,103 OKAY, WE HAVE TO LEAVE. 93 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,280 - I WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS. - NO, YOU DON'T. 94 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:27,327 WE GOTTA LOCK ALL THE DOORS AND THE WINDOWS 95 00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:29,329 AND PACK UP EVERYTHING THAT COULD BE TRACED BACK TO US. 96 00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:30,939 - Alex: REALLY? - Harmon: NOW! COME ON. 97 00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:40,862 I THINK I CAN HANDLE A FEW PLANTS! 98 00:05:47,608 --> 00:05:50,175 I'M OKAY. I'M OKAY. 99 00:05:59,184 --> 00:06:01,186 HELLO? 100 00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:08,237 - ANYONE THERE? - Sammy's voice: SHIT! 101 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,108 SHIT. I'M LATE FOR THE PARTY. 102 00:06:10,152 --> 00:06:13,111 I CANCELED THE PARTY. 103 00:06:13,155 --> 00:06:16,245 NOT THAT PARTY, YOU IDIOT. THE REAL PARTY IN THE WOODS. 104 00:06:16,288 --> 00:06:20,031 - WHO ARE YOU? - I'M THE SPIRIT OF B.M.S.! OOH-OOH! 105 00:06:20,075 --> 00:06:22,251 ARE YOU HERE TO HELP ME MAKE SENSE OF MY LIFE? 106 00:06:22,294 --> 00:06:24,209 I DON'T MAKE SENSE, SON. I MAKE DOLLARS. 107 00:06:24,253 --> 00:06:26,734 IF YOU WANNA MAKE SENSE OF YOUR LIFE, YOU GOTTA GET TO THE TOWER. 108 00:06:26,777 --> 00:06:29,998 - WHAT TOWER? - THE FRIGGIN' TOWER IN THE WOODS. 109 00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:32,304 JESUS! LISTEN, YOU JUST GOTTA GO TO IT, OKAY? 110 00:06:32,348 --> 00:06:34,437 THAT'S ALL I KNOW. YOU'RE GONNA NEED THIS. 111 00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:37,222 OKAY? TAKE IT. TAKE IT EASY. I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE. 112 00:06:37,266 --> 00:06:39,834 - SEE YOU LATER. - LUBE? WHAT'S THIS FOR? 113 00:06:41,618 --> 00:06:43,664 IS SOMETHING BAD GONNA HAPPEN? 114 00:06:43,707 --> 00:06:46,231 JOHNNY FRIGGIN' QUESTIONS OVER HERE. YOU'RE GONNA NEED IT. TRUST ME, OKAY? 115 00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:48,233 I'VE GOT TO GET TO THE PARTY. I'M LATE. 116 00:06:48,277 --> 00:06:50,497 WAIT. HOW DO I GET TO THE TOWER? 117 00:06:59,462 --> 00:07:01,508 DO I GO THIS WAY?! 118 00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:06,469 HELLO? 119 00:07:07,557 --> 00:07:09,733 HELLO? 120 00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:12,083 I'M LOOKING FOR A TOWER. 121 00:07:27,142 --> 00:07:29,100 RADON? OH, THANK GOD. 122 00:07:29,144 --> 00:07:31,799 THERE'S A CHINESE GUY IN THE WOODS. HE'S BEEN EYEBALLING ME. 123 00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:33,365 SHUT UP AND LISTEN. 124 00:07:33,409 --> 00:07:36,934 RADON THE INCOMPARABLE HAS SPOKEN. 125 00:07:36,978 --> 00:07:38,849 THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED TO SHOW YOU. 126 00:07:38,893 --> 00:07:42,331 - WHAT IS IT? - JUST A LITTLE SOMETHING CALLED 127 00:07:42,374 --> 00:07:44,986 YOUR FUTURE. 128 00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:50,121 Boy 129 00:07:50,165 --> 00:07:51,558 Boy NO, YOU GET OUT OF MY WAY, DICK FACE. 130 00:07:51,601 --> 00:07:53,995 NO, YOU GET OUT OF MY WAY, DICK FACE. 131 00:07:54,038 --> 00:07:55,866 NO, YOU GET OUT OF MY WAY, DICK FACE. 132 00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:58,347 BRAD, CHAD, 133 00:07:58,390 --> 00:08:00,915 BOTH OF YOU SHUT YOUR DICK FACES UP! 134 00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:04,527 - DADDY'S WATCHING TV! - Boys: MOM. 135 00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:07,443 KIDS, YOU HEARD YOUR FATHER. SHUT YOUR DICK FACES. 136 00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:12,187 Both the clown and pony were pronounced dead 137 00:08:12,230 --> 00:08:15,756 at the scene. So sad. 138 00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:18,759 In other news, Thad Castle signed a record-breaking deal today 139 00:08:18,802 --> 00:08:22,414 for $10 billion, a pro football record. 140 00:08:22,458 --> 00:08:25,940 It's a good thing he left B.M.S. a year early to go pro. 141 00:08:25,983 --> 00:08:29,160 - Ding. 142 00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:33,164 There's only one thing that can quench my monster thirst, 143 00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:36,428 and that's Thad Cola. 144 00:08:36,472 --> 00:08:38,343 So what's the deal with airplane food? 145 00:08:38,387 --> 00:08:41,564 - It tastes shitty, right? 146 00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:43,914 IT'S GOOD THING YOU LEFT B.M.S. A YEAR EARLY. 147 00:08:43,958 --> 00:08:46,047 OTHERWISE, YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN HURT BY THAT TORNADO 148 00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:48,353 THAT WIPED OUT THE ENTIRECAMPUS. 149 00:08:48,397 --> 00:08:50,747 GOD DAMN IT, STACY, 150 00:08:50,791 --> 00:08:54,011 SOMETIMES I WISH I'D BEEN IN THAT TORNADO, 151 00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:57,928 THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU YAPALL DAY! 152 00:08:57,972 --> 00:09:00,365 GET ME ANOTHER THAD. 153 00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:04,456 MARCH, WOMAN! 154 00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:08,243 AND MAKE ME A HAM SANDWICH. 155 00:09:10,637 --> 00:09:13,335 I'M GONNA MARRY STACY KEIBLER? 156 00:09:13,378 --> 00:09:17,382 YEP, BUT YOU HAVE TO GO PRO. IT'S YOUR DESTINY. 157 00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:19,820 THERE'S GONNA BE PEOPLE THAT TRY AND STOP YOU. 158 00:09:19,863 --> 00:09:21,430 DON'T TRUST ANYONE. 159 00:09:21,473 --> 00:09:23,214 HOW DO I KNOW I CAN TRUST YOU? 160 00:09:23,258 --> 00:09:24,651 YOU JUST HAVE TO TRUST ME. 161 00:09:24,694 --> 00:09:26,348 FAIR ENOUGH. 162 00:09:26,391 --> 00:09:29,481 HERE, TAKE THIS WITH YOU. 163 00:09:31,005 --> 00:09:34,312 DON'T OPEN IT. NOW'S NOT THE TIME. 164 00:09:34,356 --> 00:09:38,316 - WHEN THEN? - LISTEN, THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. 165 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:41,276 THERE WILL COME A TIME WHEN-- 166 00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:46,629 OH, SHIT! THEY HEARD US. 167 00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:48,413 OH, NO, THEY'RE GONNA TRY AND STOP YOU. 168 00:09:48,457 --> 00:09:51,416 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? - RUN, THAD! 169 00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:53,244 GET TO THE TOWER. 170 00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:57,945 ♪ YOUR VISION IS DOMINATED BY A CHEERLEADER'S BREAST ♪ 171 00:09:57,988 --> 00:10:00,948 ♪ YO, WE'RE NOT GAY, HOMIE, IS YOU HOOKED ON PHONICS? ♪ 172 00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:03,472 ♪ EVEN IF AT TIMES OUR ACTIONS MAY SEEM HOMOEROTIC ♪ 173 00:10:03,515 --> 00:10:07,650 ♪ YO, BITCH, IT'S LARRY, WITH SMOOTHER MOVES THAN BARRY SANDERS... ♪ 174 00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:09,304 LARRY? 175 00:10:09,347 --> 00:10:12,481 HEY, YOU MADE IT! WOW! WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG, BUDDY? 176 00:10:12,524 --> 00:10:13,830 WELCOME TO THE BEST PARTY EVER. 177 00:10:13,874 --> 00:10:16,224 I CAN'T PARTY. I GOTTA GET TO THE TOWER. 178 00:10:28,236 --> 00:10:31,805 - MOJITO? - MY FAVE. 179 00:10:31,848 --> 00:10:35,460 - WOULD YOU LIKE A MASSAGE? - SHIT, YEAH! 180 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,377 IS THIS WHAT THE LUBE IS FOR? 181 00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:42,554 Both: IT IS NOW. 182 00:10:42,598 --> 00:10:45,645 HEY, GREAT VISION QUEST, MAN. I JUST BANGED THE TOOTH FAIRY 183 00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:48,256 ON A BEARSKIN RUG. YEAH, SHE'S WILD. 184 00:10:48,299 --> 00:10:51,694 - SWEET! - THAD. 185 00:10:51,738 --> 00:10:53,217 HEY, THAD, YOU CAN'T BE HERE, ALL RIGHT? 186 00:10:53,261 --> 00:10:55,176 YOU KNOW, THIS PLACE WILL SWALLOW YOU IN. 187 00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:57,569 YOU GOTTA KEEP GOING ON YOUR QUEST. 188 00:10:57,613 --> 00:10:59,876 - OH, SHIT, MY VISION QUEST! - RIGHT. 189 00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:05,273 YOU'RE NOT ON A QUEST ANYMORE, MR. CASTLE. 190 00:11:05,316 --> 00:11:08,145 YOU'RE HOME. 191 00:11:08,189 --> 00:11:10,278 NO NO NO NO. HE'S GONNA GO PRO. 192 00:11:10,321 --> 00:11:13,281 WHAT IF HE'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO GO PRO? 193 00:11:13,324 --> 00:11:14,761 AS IF. 194 00:11:14,804 --> 00:11:17,372 OH, IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. 195 00:11:17,415 --> 00:11:20,680 A GREAT COLLEGE ATHLETE TURNS PRO 196 00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:24,292 ONLY TO REALIZE HE JUST CAN'T COMPETE AT THE NEXT LEVEL. 197 00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:26,163 THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN TO HIM. 198 00:11:26,207 --> 00:11:27,643 WELL, WHY RISK IT? 199 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,820 WHEN YOU COULD JUST STAY AT B.M.S. 200 00:11:30,864 --> 00:11:33,388 AND BE A LEGEND. 201 00:11:33,431 --> 00:11:35,390 - A LEGEND? - UH-HUH. 202 00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:37,348 DON'T LISTEN TO HER. DON'T LISTEN TO HER. 203 00:11:37,392 --> 00:11:41,265 A LEGEND. YOU DON'T WANT TO LEAVE US. 204 00:11:41,309 --> 00:11:44,007 IT'S SAFE HERE. 205 00:11:44,051 --> 00:11:47,750 NOW GO TO SLEEP, LITTLE BOY, 206 00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:49,534 AND DREAM ABOUT A WORLD 207 00:11:49,578 --> 00:11:51,754 WITH NO PAIN. 208 00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:53,756 NO PAIN. 209 00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:07,378 LUBE'S GONE. 210 00:12:07,422 --> 00:12:09,729 MUST HAVE BEEN A GOOD NIGHT. 211 00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:17,606 HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN ASLEEP? 212 00:12:17,649 --> 00:12:20,740 WHERE HAS MY LIFE GONE? 213 00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:23,220 I'M OLD. I'VE ACCOMPLISHED NOTHING. 214 00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:29,444 - DON'T GO. - WE'RE SO HAPPY TOGETHER. 215 00:12:29,487 --> 00:12:33,187 GOODBYE, CHEERLEADERS. I'LL VISIT EACH OF YOU IN MY DREAMS 216 00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:35,842 AND DO REALLY AWESOME STUFF TO YOU. 217 00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:02,042 MY 10th BIRTHDAY PARTY. 218 00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:03,565 THESE PRESENTS ARE CRAP. 219 00:13:03,608 --> 00:13:06,307 YOU A-WIPES SHOULD LEARN HOW TO SHOP. 220 00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:09,440 OH, GREAT. A PRESENT FROM GRANDMA. 221 00:13:11,486 --> 00:13:14,097 IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 222 00:13:16,621 --> 00:13:20,582 YOU DIDN'T MESS IT UP THIS TIME, GRANDMA. I LOVE YOU. 223 00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:24,325 - GOD, I WAS SUCH AN ADORABLE KID. - Man: YOU STILL ARE. 224 00:13:24,368 --> 00:13:26,936 DAD? 225 00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:29,634 WHAT ARE YOU DOING, THAD? 226 00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:32,289 THIS FOOTBALL TEAM IS YOUR FAMILY. 227 00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:35,205 BUT IF I GO PRO, I'LL MAKE A BILLION DOLLARS 228 00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:37,294 AND I'LL GET TO BONE STACY KEIBLER. 229 00:13:37,338 --> 00:13:39,079 THAT'S A SOLID ARGUMENT. 230 00:13:42,430 --> 00:13:44,867 I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH. 231 00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:47,652 AND DON'T WORRY. I'VE KEPT OKSANA SAFE. 232 00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:50,699 THAT'S GOOD. A BROTHER MUST TAKE CARE OF HIS SISTER. 233 00:13:52,396 --> 00:13:55,095 OKSANA'S NOT MY SISTER. OKSANA IS MY POCKET PUSSY. 234 00:13:55,138 --> 00:13:56,879 IT USED TO BE YOURS. 235 00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:59,403 WHAT THE HELL IS A POCKET PUSSY? 236 00:13:59,447 --> 00:14:01,884 YOU'RE NOT MY DAD. 237 00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:13,156 GOOD TO SEE YOU, SON. 238 00:14:25,386 --> 00:14:29,085 YOU THINK YOU CAN LEAVE ME? 239 00:14:29,129 --> 00:14:30,478 I MADE YOU. 240 00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:33,829 NOBODY LEAVES ME. 241 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:37,485 YOU'RE STAYING AT B.M.S. FOREVER. 242 00:14:39,966 --> 00:14:41,445 LARRY, RADON! 243 00:14:41,489 --> 00:14:43,143 QUICK, FOLLOW ME. 244 00:14:43,186 --> 00:14:44,579 DON'T TRUST HIM. 245 00:14:44,622 --> 00:14:46,407 THINK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE, THAD. 246 00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:47,843 Larry: WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME. LET'S GO. 247 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,497 NO, IT'S A TRAP. 248 00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,850 Radon: REMEMBER THE BOX. 249 00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:04,120 I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE PUT SOME WHEELS ON THIS THING. 250 00:15:11,301 --> 00:15:13,564 LARRY, YOU TRICKED ME! 251 00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:17,090 I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE. I WANT YOU TO STAY AT B.M.S. WITH ME. 252 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,398 FOREVER. 253 00:15:21,442 --> 00:15:23,661 - WHAT? - YOU'RE ONE OF US, THAD. 254 00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:26,534 - NO! - Larry: YOU'RE ONE OF US. 255 00:15:26,577 --> 00:15:29,058 ONE OF US. 256 00:15:30,451 --> 00:15:32,192 ONE OF US! 257 00:15:33,715 --> 00:15:36,326 OKSANA! 258 00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:39,677 NO, HIS POCKET PUSSY, 259 00:15:39,721 --> 00:15:43,725 THE SOURCE OF ALL HIS POWER! 260 00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:06,182 THE TOWER. 261 00:16:09,925 --> 00:16:12,101 DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY. 262 00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:19,500 IS THAT A DILDO? 263 00:16:19,543 --> 00:16:22,285 SOMEBODY LET ME IN. HELP! 264 00:16:27,682 --> 00:16:29,684 DO I JACK IT OFF? 265 00:16:40,651 --> 00:16:42,610 Man: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? 266 00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:44,742 I'M TRYING TO OPEN THE DOOR. 267 00:16:44,786 --> 00:16:47,441 USE THE POCKET PUSSY. 268 00:16:51,793 --> 00:16:54,491 IT'S TOO DRY. IT'S TOO DRY! 269 00:16:54,535 --> 00:16:56,667 SHIT, BRO. I DON'T KNOW. 270 00:16:58,930 --> 00:17:02,021 THE LUBE. THE LUBE. 271 00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:06,373 OH, SHIT, IT'S ALMOST GONE. 272 00:17:06,416 --> 00:17:08,636 OKAY. 273 00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:10,638 COME ON. 274 00:17:10,681 --> 00:17:13,467 THERE HE IS! 275 00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:15,643 COME ON. 276 00:17:35,663 --> 00:17:37,491 Thad: HELLO? 277 00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:41,364 HELLO? 278 00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,802 GUYS? 279 00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:48,241 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 280 00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:50,982 I CAME HERE FOR ANSWERS, NOT A DOUCHE BAG CONVENTION. 281 00:17:51,026 --> 00:17:53,768 AND YOU FOUND ANSWERS, THAD. 282 00:17:55,509 --> 00:17:59,121 - THAD? - HELLO, THAD. 283 00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:01,123 OH, MAN. 284 00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:04,518 NOW I'M MORE CONFUSED THAN I WAS BEFORE I STARTED. 285 00:18:04,561 --> 00:18:06,824 Thad ARE YOU, THAD? 286 00:18:06,868 --> 00:18:10,350 LOOK BACK ON YOUR JOURNEY. IN ALL THAT YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH AND ALL THAT YOU'VE SEEN, 287 00:18:10,393 --> 00:18:13,092 WHAT WAS THE ONLY TRUE MOMENT? 288 00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:27,454 MY BIRTHDAY PARTY. 289 00:18:27,497 --> 00:18:30,674 THAT JERSEY WAS THE GREATEST PRESENT I EVER GOT. 290 00:18:30,718 --> 00:18:33,547 IT MADE ME LOVE MY GRANDMA AGAIN. 291 00:18:33,590 --> 00:18:36,245 B.M.S. IS NOT JUST YOUR HOME OR YOUR FAMILY. 292 00:18:36,289 --> 00:18:38,595 IT'S YOU. IT'S IN YOUR HEART. 293 00:18:38,639 --> 00:18:40,597 IT WAS THERE WHEN YOU WERE 10, IT'S THERE NOW 294 00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:43,383 AND IT'LL BE THERE WHEN YOU'RE 90. 295 00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:45,907 NO ONE CAN PREDICT THE FUTURE. 296 00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:49,171 LISTEN TO YOUR HEART. WHAT IS IT TELLING YOU? 297 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:02,053 TWO DOORS, TWO FUTURES. 298 00:19:02,097 --> 00:19:04,143 THE CHOICE IS YOURS. 299 00:19:25,468 --> 00:19:27,949 Harmon: THE DRUGS SHOULD HAVE WORN OFF BY NOW. 300 00:19:27,992 --> 00:19:30,081 HE SHOULD BE FINE... 301 00:19:30,125 --> 00:19:33,911 OR VERY VERY DEAD. 302 00:19:33,955 --> 00:19:37,437 - THAD. - HELP ME! 303 00:19:39,656 --> 00:19:41,441 OH SHIT. 304 00:19:46,794 --> 00:19:48,796 GET ME OUT OF HERE. 305 00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:56,020 Thad: AND YOU WERE THERE. AND YOU. AND YOU. 306 00:19:56,064 --> 00:19:58,240 AND YOU. 307 00:19:58,284 --> 00:20:00,808 AND YOU SHOWED ME MY FUTURE FROM A WOODEN BOX, 308 00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:03,898 I HAD MY OWN STAND UP COMEDY SPECIAL. 309 00:20:03,941 --> 00:20:06,248 AND THERE WAS THIS TOWER IN THE WOODS WITH A DILDO FOR A DOORKNOB 310 00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:08,250 AND I TRIED TO OPEN IT WITH MY MOUTH, 311 00:20:08,294 --> 00:20:11,949 BUT THIS CHINESE GUY FROM THE WOODS TOLD ME TO USE MY POCKET PUSSY INSTEAD. 312 00:20:11,993 --> 00:20:14,517 I MET MYSELF ON THE OTHER SIDE. 313 00:20:14,561 --> 00:20:17,651 WOW! AT LEAST ONE OF US GOT TO PARTY. SO WHAT DID YOU DECIDE? 314 00:20:17,694 --> 00:20:19,609 YEAH, MAN. YOU'RE GOING PRO, RIGHT? 315 00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:21,002 YOU'RE STAYING ANOTHER YEAR, RIGHT? 316 00:20:21,045 --> 00:20:23,483 I REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT THIS HARD FROM EVERY SIDE, 317 00:20:23,526 --> 00:20:26,529 BUT ULTIMATELY I REALIZED 318 00:20:26,573 --> 00:20:29,706 - B.M.S. MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME. - Radon: MAN! 319 00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:32,100 BUT THEN I REMEMBERED THAT I GET TO MARRY 320 00:20:32,143 --> 00:20:33,710 STACY KEIBLER IF I GO PRO, 321 00:20:33,754 --> 00:20:36,017 - SO I'M GOING PRO. - YES! 322 00:20:36,060 --> 00:20:38,541 PLUS, LARRY, YOU WERE A HUGE PRICK TO ME 323 00:20:38,585 --> 00:20:39,977 AND SO WERE THE COACHES. 324 00:20:40,021 --> 00:20:42,153 - BUT THAT WAS JUST A DREAM. - WHATEVS. 325 00:20:42,197 --> 00:20:43,981 YOU GUYS ARE ALL JERKS. 326 00:20:44,025 --> 00:20:46,767 GOOD LUCK IN THE TORNADO NEXT YEAR, A-HOLES. 327 00:20:51,598 --> 00:20:55,471 ♪ B.M.S., WHERE THE BITCHES ARE SO FINE ♪ 328 00:20:55,515 --> 00:20:58,082 ♪ AND THE DRUGS, THEY FLOW LIKE WATER ♪ 329 00:20:58,126 --> 00:21:00,737 ♪ GOT BLUE MOUNTAIN STATE OF MIND ♪ 330 00:21:00,781 --> 00:21:03,566 ♪ I'M TALKING B.M.S. 331 00:21:03,610 --> 00:21:06,830 ♪ WHERE THE BITCHES ARE SO FINE ♪ 332 00:21:06,874 --> 00:21:09,311 ♪ AND THE DRUGS, THEY FLOW LIKE WATER ♪ 333 00:21:09,355 --> 00:21:13,272 ♪ GOT BLUE MOUNTAIN STATE OF MIND ♪ 334 00:21:13,315 --> 00:21:15,752 ♪ COME AND ARREST ME, Y'ALL BE DEPRESSED ♪ 335 00:21:15,796 --> 00:21:18,842 ♪ I'M THAT CANADIAN THAT SKATE ON 'EM LIKE GRETZKY ♪ 336 00:21:18,886 --> 00:21:22,759 ♪ B.M.S., JUST LIKE A VISION QUEST EXCEPT YA VISION'S DOMINATED... ♪